Pills aren’t just medicine—they’re trackers. I bit one open, and inside was a microchip, blinking like a firefly. Big Pharma’s in on it, lacing our Prozac with nanobots that report to Zuckerberg’s cloud. I flushed them all, but now the tap water’s glowing faintly blue at night. Coincidence? No. It’s chemtrails seeping into the pipes, and Beyoncé’s new album is the activation code.